Without getting into a big thing on why I haven’t been posting here, this is more about posting something in general. This is a spur-of-the-moment bit of positivity and proactivity, as well as a glimpse of things to come.
It’s no secret to me or anyone reading this how much of what I’ve written about my mental health has been based on unhappy things, often with unhappy tones. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s important to be able to express those things.
In short I have trouble expressing unhappy things. So when I have avenues of expression such as this blog, it’s a rare opportunity to at least try to express things that need expressing. And if the most need-worthy things end up being unhappy things, then that’s how it is.
Expressions of mental health should ideally be balanced, if possible. It’s good to express both the positives and the negatives.
To say I’m too hard on myself would be an understatement. A conditioned side-effect of that is to deny feelings of self-love and positivity. Even if I feel inherently good I tend to hold back reveries of it. They become back-handed compliments. “You’re doing good, but don’t forget, at the end of the day you’re still not good enough.”
There should be no shame in expressing positive feelings, especially in self-love. There should also be no shame in expressing my sad or angry feelings. The key is balance. Both should sides of the coin need to be expressed, but in moderation. In balance. In healthy amounts.
I need to enact a lot of changes in my life. Celebrating my own positive qualities and feelings should absolutely be a part of it, and in theory that celebration will fuel a further uprise in that very positivity.