Numb In The Water (40-Day Mental Health Writing Challenge, Day 34)

Numb. Numb, numb, numb.

I’m just rolling through life, one day at a time, and it feels so meaningless these past few months. Days and weeks and months just fly off the calendar.

The turning point will come. I know it will.

I’m just so sick of this money business. I’m obsessed with the notion that I have to be financially stable in order to feel good and accomplish anything. That I have to have my expenses covered in order to feel safe, comfortable. Anything else is like walking on eggshells. Scared to live, too depressed to make change. Continue reading “Numb In The Water (40-Day Mental Health Writing Challenge, Day 34)”

Hide & Seek (40-Day Mental Health Writing Challenge, Days 32 & 33)

Dropped the daily writing ball again. And it was a conscious decision, again.

But I do feel less guilt over it this time. I’m not pleased that I missed yesterday’s entry, but I’m not going to beat myself over it either.

That said, I don’t even feel like writing tonight either. It’s been another long day, and I’m feeling pretty drained. Continue reading “Hide & Seek (40-Day Mental Health Writing Challenge, Days 32 & 33)”

Drop Of A Hat (40-Day Mental Health Writing Challenge, Day 31)

It’s amazing how quickly things can change.

At work today a coworker did something relatively harmless that utterly ruined me, emotionally. I’m not even going to go into situational details because, quite frankly, they’re irrelevant and distract from the point.

Let’s just say that I went from having… a decent day, really, to an emotionally disastrous one. With this one little action I felt instantly hurt. Beyond irritated; just plain pissed off. My prior sense of productivity and energy was immediately replaced with lethargy, bitterness and resentfulness. I wanted to just drop everything and walk away. Continue reading “Drop Of A Hat (40-Day Mental Health Writing Challenge, Day 31)”

Just What The Doctor Ordered (40-Day Mental Health Writing Challenge, Day 30)

What a day. And I’m arguably too tired to do this daily post justice, but I also don’t want to end up in another procrastination streak. So here goes…

I had a great night tonight. The rest of the day was… what it was. Socializing was fairly fluid and easy, and work went well enough until towards the end of the work portion. A headache came into play and I became crabby, quietly slipping out the door. Continue reading “Just What The Doctor Ordered (40-Day Mental Health Writing Challenge, Day 30)”

Inconsistency and Conflict (40-Day Mental Health Writing Challenge, Day 29)

Such inconsistency.

You always hear it said that healthy eating helps healthy emotions. Balanced diet equals balanced everything-else, that sort of thing. I can’t say I did that today. My morning food started off well enough, apple and some eggs on toast. The rest of the day consisted of a granola bar and another apple, and somehow – don’t ask me how, but somehow – my drive and energy remained up for the majority of the day. Continue reading “Inconsistency and Conflict (40-Day Mental Health Writing Challenge, Day 29)”

New Beginnings (40-Day Mental Health Writing Challenge, Day 28)

Today started off with a big, progressive step forward.

After a general checkup with my doctor last week, I inquired about behavioural/emotional therapy services offered through the same clinic. This morning I was unexpectedly offered a spot to speak with the resident therapist. After many months of deliberating over finding such service, I was glad to check it out. Continue reading “New Beginnings (40-Day Mental Health Writing Challenge, Day 28)”